a toothy experience

=) finally done w/ the dental op. went to CGH early, and the surgeon was late lol, caught in a traffic jam. being wheeled into the operating theatre is quite a new experience, as well as using GA (general anaesthesia). ‘it’s oxygen, breath deeply.’ the lady told me. so i breathed about 3-4 times.. before i simply blacked out. next thing i knew, i was outside the theatre biting on a large piece of gauze, all the teeth already gone. had to take some panadol to settle the pain tho; the bleeding was another irritating factor. mum n stan came at ard 2pm to fetch me home, phewz. the swelling wasn’t as bad as i tot, but yf jus assured me that it’ll get worse tomorrow. sighsh. hurray for painkillers?

got a call fr HWZ regarding an interview =) hope my swelling goes down enough by wed, arrgh else i’ll be missing an opportunity. i wanna watch intolerable cruelty also! pirates of the carribbean already off screen, siansie. there’s still the return of the king & matrix revolutions to look fwd to though.

stan observed the other night that someone had started playing renewal again; but then was it any of my business? good luck to whoever’s the hanger-on/target/victim/close friend/whateva; i hope he enjoys it =) just want my books back.. get it over n done with. -.- too bad i had my dental this morning, hais. i wonder how many people actually bother to read my blog =) pt of interest?

but i think i’m really suited to using alsin; simply cannot be bothered now. phobia against relationships? i think the recent experience’s realli been a great blow to me. perhaps u could liken it to an ongoing internal haemorrhage, unlike a swift thrust to the heart. i’m still alive, but there’s still alot of destructive potential left inside me.. really feel like an empty husk sometimes. the eternal question always returns – what’s the point in living? but yeah, i’m glad i always have my friends to turn to, even though i’ve had to cope with it alone this time round, everyone being busy with their own stuff. like what ah long would say, ‘it’s not all about you!’ yaya.. never all abt me, it’s all abt u lor lol. big shot liao rite? 😛 guess ’tis yet another case of bad timing.. we live and we learn. never to let down our guard again.. NEVER. it doesn’t pay to be too nice aft all, so it’s time to go the opposite tack and get bastardised! =) it’ll be fun to be simply heckcare; to not worry about what you say would have whatever shit consequences. if they dun like what i’m saying.. tooo baddddddd.

i’ve got this new concept for my webpage too, but not done yet. planning to write the chinese characters ‘zang4 xin1’ and a suitable graphic (not 100% worked out yet), black and silvery metal.

yf told me to go for someone.. but nahhhhhh! dun think it’s right. we don’t realli click anyway. i’d rather remain as a friend than to make stupid attempts at relationships.

think that’s enough of my rants for tonight.. hmm. pray hardest for reduced swelling, and increased recovery time for the wed interview. hmm pray? to who sia. i’m a free thinking moron =) maybe to the god of shithappenz, lol.

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ahhh heck! i give up

woohoo, i throw in the towel! that’s it man, i can’t take it. finally finished editing profile; yf spent the night at my place, after we talked w/ sharon last nite. he helped alot in the debug n coding, but when it came to session tracking a la shopping cart.. geez. i finally realised the scope of my shit. is SGD$300 even worth it? well.. at least i managed to cram coldfusion in 3 days. i’ve emailed dennis saying i couldn’t finish it in time; we’ll see.
went central w/ yf in the evening to play arcade; i wandered around alone after we parted ways, in search of my last dinner. it’s then that i realised my mood swings automatically; i can whistle and laugh whenever i have company with me, but the gray mood sets in after i walk alone. it’s like a depression.. i hate it! walked home in the rain after that, ’tis only a light drizzle after all, and it fitted my mood then.
uploaded more pics onto my instantlogic gallery, smile. feel free to take a look!
n yeah man.. tomorrow’s my dental op! no more solid food in the days to come sob.. super siansie. oh wellzzz… welcome to pain baby. fasting after midnight comes.. dumb instructions.

the end of it

slept @ 3, wokeup at 7+ am and resumed work, albeit with a goddamned headache, sorethroat and fever all in one. luckily yf was around, and came to my place to save my sorry ass, else i’d be a goner.

subscribed to a new webby in the noon too; 200meg’s worth of pictures on instantlogic.com for my image gallery, woohoo. haven’t had time to fill it up really much yet though; click on the link to the right to view some of my pics! ^^

met huiying in the evening w/ yf over dinner too; both of ’em talking about quarrels with their respective halves. lol, i wish i had a gf to quarrel with.. not that i’ve ever done so with cin in the past; altho that’s more of a matter of principle to a promise i made to her right from the start. bah, enough of my sorry shit. save that for the writing. *interested? simply send a blank email to kczj@yahoo.com with the header subscribe-iam_tendem. serious? nope, i’m joking =) but it’s available at request.

was on the phone just now, and received some reallllllllly eye-bulging, jaw-dropping, tie-intestines-in-figure-of-eight-scale news. suffice it to say i would’ve never imagined it to happen, lol. but yeah, i guess miracles do occur =) will talk abt it when it’s been declassified i guess.. but not now.
still gotta continue to rush the bloody assignment.. oh wellz.. laterz.

exhaustion

spent the previous night configuring Apache and Coldfusion 4.5.. and learning the basics. finally collapsed out of exhaustion @ 4am, only to crawl up again at 9+ am. struggled thru the stuff til 12, and went for lunch w/ Stan outside to relax for awhile (and to borrow reference books for CF.) NLB doesn’t have any available vacancies now, sighs so sad.
Took a 2hr nap in the noon, was feeling feverish then. now back to hitting the damn CF.. finally got the login screen working. on to member services! hope i can complete till user search tonight =)
got the deepavali pics fr Xavier this morn too; damn funny video as well. ah well, memories!

headache mode

big headache today manz.. went out in the noon to get the OOP notes fr zaoliang (for fab’s exams), and met the guy lin intro-ed for some coldfusion assignment. man.. seriously dead this time round. i have yet to begin on the learning curve for cf, and i’m supposed to understand/finish coding the damn pages by fri? gee whiz. i can’t find a working version of CF 4.5.2, installing ms office 2k and apache now, library’s closed cant borrow any reference texts.. no time to find frens for tutelage either; dont think any of them got time for me. sighs.. shit happenz. dont think i’ll be getting much sleep the next few days.. kill me man, kill me -.-

freedom!

total freedom n all today! wokeup, stoned abit before going out to central (arcade time) after lunch. spent quite a few hours in a comic shop reading my regular stuff, and headed back home to continue my writing =) gee.. long way to go before completion.

just came back from buying supper, drinking some odd FCUK lemon vodka. lol, think i’d better try something else nex time.

argh, finally home.

yea, finally staggered home! met enoch @ hotel rendezvous yesterday, met an entire bunch of new ppl (mostly from his church), played games there (playing icebreaker games, 10+ blind mice, eating portions the gargantuan sandwich my team made, getting myself wet in the process), went gym for awhile (think tis been too long since i’ve gone, muscles aching now!), and the amazing race thingy @ night, where we had to run all over the city hall area looking for locations/clues. went to the s11 near national library for a drink, headed back to bath AND came out for supper again at 2+am.. before concussing.
wokeup in the morning for the buffet breakfast (enoch footed a large portion of the bill) and a cell group meeting at the end (worship songs, prayers n stuff. i was abit :O when it happened, but ah well, it wasn’t so bad anyway.) saw a girl who looked like a former irc friend of mine (debbie) but i’m quite certain it’s a case of mistaken identity lol. wrong jc, age, height. jus facial similarity
reached home fit to collapse lol. almost almost.. maybe after zaoliang comes and burns his desired mp3s.. dunno when that’ll be tho.