finally back home.. sigh.

’tis been busy these days while the funeral’s been on.
i’ve had more than enough sleep of course, but pulled the graveyard shift every night from thursday till saturday. playing cards with my cousin, her husband, uncle david, stan and mother till 6 a.m. before the rest wokeup to take over, man. pimple overload heh. i finally found my saiyuki #1 at a comic shop nearby tho.. finally!

be it burning the incense paper (supposed duty of the grandchildren) or moving things,
chunky gerald always found some way to shirk the work. bloody talented at chaokeng.
the burning of the incense paper’s not as easy as you think it is..;p not with only three grandchildren. it’s supposed to be burning constantly, and we’re not allowed to dump like 10,000 sheets at a single go. therefore.. one sheet at a time, keep the fire nice and happy all the time. add the taoist chant (battery operated player) repeating itself approx every 20 secs.. for 3 days. do the maths urself. wah man.. can drive u nuts.

one dumb blip that occurred during the funeral, heheh. i wasn’t supposed to wear my ring/earring, so i took ’em out and only wore my earring during zz time :X didn’t have time to buy earsticks, and was quite afraid the hole’ll close on me. so in the end, it was me trying to poke my earring back into where it belonged while behaving like a half-resurrected zombie in the early morning. so one of these mornings, yours truly actually pierced *another* hole above my original hole with the earring.. and didn’t even realise it until the following morning duh. and i was still wondering howcome the pus/blood was flowing out that night -.- man.

on the other hand, i realised that the dumb stuff i’ve been doing at work all these months has a positive effect after all; i do saikang much much much faster now.. lol. i was like the saikang i/c there ;p assign me a task and i’ll divvy it up among my fellow victims (a.k.a stan, gerald and noelle’s hubby steve.)

the entire affair’s been quite an eye-opener anyway; all the rituals, chanting, praying blahblah. not that i’m a devout taoist, but well.. suffice it to say that i would be incurring the inciepient disapproval + wrath of the entire family had i tried to refuse participation. so.. shrug. better to just go thru the motions of everything, regardless of whether i truly believed in reincarnation of my grandad’s soul or not.

one thing that i’m quite certain about now.. heh. when it’s my turn.. i’d quite prefer to disappear without any kinds of ceremony at all. no siree, kindly send me to the morgue and keep me there until it’s time to cremate me 😉 after that scatter my ashes in a place i like, and i’ll be quite content. saves time, hassle, money for everyone. i’m not firmly rooted in any religion anyway, no point doing all these stuff if even the deceased doesn’t even believe lol.

my uncles and cousins displayed their emotions more openly, of all the family members present. it was quite understandable that all the wives would be less affected; it wasn’t their father after all. me being me, merely gritted my teeth and struggled to hold my tears back. i certainly wasn’t gonna break down and weep along with the rest. i realised that the intense atmosphere was quite infectious. the sight of uncle david bawling his heart out when grandad’s coffin was pushed into the incinerator was.. extremely heart wrenching to say the least.

i suppose my perspective has gotten more pragmatic; life still goes on despite the absence of grandad to accompany us now. i should be happier that he’s finally released from the pain that he’d to endure, ever since the entire stomach tumor thing started. no amount of mourning’ll revive him after all, so i guess the best thing to do is to hold him in my heart and remember him for the love and concern he showed me since my birth.
one thing i should remember to do is to print a photo of grandpa that i took a year ago for my cousin and uncle. shrug, it looks better than the b/w passport photo that we carry in our wallets at least.

hais, looking forward to another pay cut this month. didn’t work for three days, wonder howmuch i’ll be getting. already broke from spending extra $ during the funeral, saving’s down to $200 now bleah.

not to mention it’s 11+ p.m. now and there goes my weekend.. work tomorrow again yay. sibei song.

watched my one and only planned tv proggie for this year: channel u’s darren+evelyn’s wedding video footage 😉 it might be overimagination on my part, but i can almost feel the happiness that they share simply by looking at their expressions.
幸福 man.. the both of ’em 😉
been collecting alot of newspaper/mag articles on their wedding heh, think i’m too boliao. i mean, whatever for man. but ah well.. it’s a way to burn my time.



received an sms from stan in the evening, telling me to rush down as it seemed grandpop was in pain again. dropped my work, got my colleague to wrap up everything and drive off, when i received stan’s next sms: he’d already passed away. didn’t expect that my last glimpse of him alive would be yesterday evening, heh.

arrived at sgh and walked into the ward, where grandpa still remained for awhile more, but the curtains were already drawn up.

he looked like he was merely asleep.. the tautness of pain gone from his features. eyes barely opened, head slightly tilted to the right. an empty husk of a human being, now that life had finally left. it seemed quite unreal that he was really gone for good. i didn’t want to touch him at first, not wanting to accept the fact that he won’t open his eyes and wake up if i did so.

cousin noelle was quietly sobbing, slowly but ceaselessly stroking his motionless hand gently. uncle david.. in tears, but hardly making any noise.

i was telling myself repeatedly that i wouldn’t shed tears openly there, and to control myself. stroking his limp hand through the blanket gently, i took a deep breath.. and left the room with stan. gerald was sitting outside the corridor alone, knees drawn up to himself.. crying. walking over, i squatted ruffled his hair softly. ‘don’t cry liao la..’ using the back of my hand to wipe away his tears. ‘come, let’s go.’ i helped him up, and motioned for stan to go rejoin the others with gerald, before i walked back to the ward.
i didn’t want to break down and lose control infront of stan.

walking back to rejoin noelle and uncle david inside, i stood beside noelle this time, giving noelle’s other hand a squeeze. she was still murmuring softly and sobbing, in disbelief that he’d really left. grandma came in helped by old man, and became abit teary also. everyone stood there in silence, watching grandpop’s motionless form.

however, soon it was time to leave.
old man asked her not to look too much, and what grandma said struck me to the core.
‘don’t look now no more chance to look liao.’ she uttered in teochew.
my eyes instantly filled, and i looked away. wiping away the tears before they fell, i walked out to rejoin gerald and stan outside.

went along with uncle david and noelle for the death cert registration at a nearby neighbourhood police post just now, still unreal.

standing in my grandparents’ bedroom, i could still feel his presence in the place. it seemed like he’d merely gone out and would be back soon. my eyes then fell on the table nearby, where alot of us had placed photographs under the heavy glass piece years ago. among the multitude was a black n white photo of grandpa. wanting it as a keepsake, i stuffed it into my wallet for remembrance. i did get grandma’s permission before i took it of course..:X

i’ll be at the wake from tomorrow until he’s cremated on sunday, so no more blogging/whatever other leisurely crap i do for the next few days.

not gonna sleep tonite liao lo!


i’m trying to distance myself from the turbulence that we know as emotions.
outwardly i’m succeeding, presenting an expressionless and cold facade to everyone.
the void is present whenever i’m alone, but it’s so hard to maintain the calm that it requires, especially when i lose control of myself due to my temper.

suppressing my loneliness, tucking it away in a corner during my conscious hours.
growing unseen, it reigns in my dreams, where almost every dream is one that mirrors an alternate life with someone i could actually love. i could almost drown in the sweet contentment of bliss.. until the morning comes, and reality beckons.

it’s then time to laugh harshly at myself.


if only the real world works that easily, heh.
trying is not a viable option in this reality anyway; especially not between me and her.

it’s so hard, yet i struggle to press on to maintain the calm of the void.

even sleep can be such a torture sometimes; offering lingering glimpses of something i could never hope to have.

dinner finally, and alot of other stuff

whew, dinnertime.
finally? and it’s like 11:40 p.m. man, i’m surprised my digestive fluids haven’t burnt a hole straight to my arse from the fasting. not really hungry but well, just gotta eat the usual 3 square meals a day 😉 tuckin’ into the fried rice (with usual ham, luncheon meat, chicken, eggs and whatnot included) as i type, heh heh.

why pay at all?
just got a free sauna session at work today. working the entire day away at the c&p warehouse complex in penjuru (west area) without any form of ventilation is without doubt.. a good way to dehydrate yourself to death.

arrived there early, and the bloody warehouse wasn’t open. the electricians, aircon people and us cooled our heels for nearly an hour before the bloody doors were opened. massive waste of time.. spit.

i was literally sweating gallons as i worked, real struggle there. what with the sweat constantly dripping off my chin/nose/ears etc, a squad of irritating houseflies buzzing nearby constantly, losing my pen la, fatigue, irritation, bahh. i was pretty pissed, to say the least. took my irritation out on an egg prata during lunchtime ;p

evenin’ visitin.
lucky enough i had the foresight to bring an extra change of clothes in my bag, and went down straight after work to sgh. if i didn’t.. i guess i would’ve been sterilized before i was permitted entry 😉 i stank. really, really bloody stank. grandad’s hands looked positively bloated today.. heard it’s due to the liquids trapped inside. they’ve taken him off the blood pressure booster medication, and gettin’ ready to power-off the respirator tomorrow.
if all goes well, he’ll be off life support totally.
if shit happens, hmm. i guess at least he can say his last words without the respirator fuckin’ it up.

so i’m an unfeeling bastard, shrug. kill me lo.

got more complaints from uncle david and cousin noelle about my hair being ‘untidy’ la.. what ‘some long some short’, ‘simply not neat’. -.- piang eh, it’s that untidy meh?! not my fault my hair curls naturally right.. mutters. maybe i should just follow the rest of the family and keep my hair cropped short; nice, neat, complaint-less and normal 😉 fuck, maybe 20 years later haha.

left sgh along with the rest of the family, and got overruled when i wanted to walk out to outram park mrt. everyone insisted on me taking uncle ivan’s car out.. and guess where i got a lift until? yeah man.. outram park. so far lor. count the waiting time for him to drive up, and the extra long distance i had to walk (‘cus i alighted at the NE line entrance.. nb) to the EW line.. i think i could’ve saved alot more fuckin’ time had i walked out.

managed to finish the rest of today’s straits times on my way home.. finally. pant.

saw today’s life! section featuring a few (two to be exact. hiaks) pages on her and 林明伦, her husband-to-be-in-a-few-days. nice photos 😉 think i’ll cut ’em out and find space somewhere on my bulletin board. imfo, they’re really a great lookin’ couple 😉

but think i’m goin’ abit overboard :X saw a coupla other mags featuring’ them.. and i bought those too -.- there goes my money again, sigh.

i was fresh out of cash when i saw the other mags, and i was bothered enough to walk home from central, change clothes, walk out *back* to central, buy the mags, and walk to my workplace so that i could get my bike and cycle home -.- bo liao. lucky i had an ice blended mocha from kopibean to accompany me haha.. finally used up the card w/ the 12 stamps at long last 😉

got into another discussion about my vagrant brother (who’s out blissfully watchin’ a movie. lucky him.) with my resident auntie (my mum).
seems that she’s quite worried that he’s even more indolent than me (wow), lazy, cannot-be-bothered-at-anything, super-nua, hmm. i seem to be describing myself, but nevermind 😉

anyway, i couldn’t come up with any solution, since i don’t really like forcing people into accepting my pov (point of view(s)). when i see him making stupid mistakes or doing something dumb, i advise. the road is shown, it’s up to him to accept it. but more often than not he doesn’t, of course. which leads to the usual ‘i-told-u-so!’ from me. dunno la. i think it’s in his character to see the hole in the road and happily trudge on + jump into the hole willingly somemore.

shrugz. it’s his life, i can’t be bothered enough to be a model of blinding positivity and shine some light on his path.

eh bro, if you’re readin’ this ah. kindly remember to..
– clear ur bloody things away from my table! if there’s any ;p clutterin’ up my desk lei.
– go get a pt job or something. stop mum from naggin’ at me!
– plan for your future years please. don’t be another aimless bum like me.
– most importantly.. go get a gf, get married and carry on the family line 😉

think i’d better concentrate on my dinner/supper.. it’s almost an hour and i haven’t gotten past 1/5 of it.

enjoy whatever left’s of the night people 😉

siansie, and the busy list ;(

poof, yet another weekend’s gone by just like this ;( nb.
worked pretty late on saturday, went home, rotted, slept. nolife.

sunday morning bball. wokeup too early, arrived at the cc too early, and rotted for abit before the rest came. maybe i had enough time to warmup this time round; prob that’s why i got more shots in today 😉 was fuckin’ tired by the time we finished the first 3 full court matches tho’.. i really wasn’t performing up to standard after that. crappy shit. of course.. had lunch with the guys at the market as per usual routine.

dragged a bleary-eyed stan out of the house, and went sgh together in the noon.
we were walking to tampines mrt when he suddenly commented that i looked like an ah beng if he just took my back view into consideration. dyed long hair, earring.. geez.
me? ah beng? i didn’t know i’d officially changed my stereotype from nerdy good guy to unofficial ah beng 😉

but when we reached sgh.. visiting hrs were over, bah. wasted trip. stan went home immediately, not wanting to wait another 30minutes before the visiting hours were open again. bo liao. shrug, dont like to force people into decisions anyway. said my views, he doesn’t wanna accept it’s his problem.

met weijie (another campmate) at orchard, and walked down to parklane for pool in the end.. bloody hell far man. today’s form for pool really not bad though; i could get most of my shots in :p starting losing at the end though; my legs were reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally tired from the morning bball heh.. couldn’t take it.

anyway.. he’s one of me better mates back during ns times. older than me by a few years, working at the ministry of finance right now. talked quite abit with him over dinner; updated each other on our work, life, future, money, relationships, army/nsman shit. advice being tossed around as usual. “the right one will come along la.. don’t worry”. bah.

he’s quite a practical-minded fella, same type i am. prob that’s why we get along well lol. nice to have re-estab contact with yet another friend 😉 many many more to go before the circle’s done though.. sighs.

saw yanni and may (two of my former rcy cadets back in sec sch) at plaza singapura just now too; didnt say hi tho :p doubt they’ll recognize me heh. girls will be girls.. changed damn alot since sec sch. if it wasn’t for the fact i’d seen may recently at lishi’s bday chalet and yanni during my tp days.. doubt i could’ve recognized them.

tired. still hafta reach office earlier tomorrow bah, think i’m gonna turn in earlier tonite.
hope i’ll have a nice dreamless sleep, one that isn’t riddled with weird dreams of an impossibility. really hate it when i have those kinda dreams, and reality comes crashing in when morning arrives, reminding me that it was all a dream. a fucking dream. period. zz.

i miss goin’ out with the rest of the guys… ahhhhhh ;(
and so i compiled.. the bz list!
– 昀龙 ah long. bz-with-sch-and-gf
– 南镇 nz. bz-with-camp-and-acca
– 显勤 xq. bz-with-sch-and-hall-activities
– 铭辉 ah meng. bz-studying-in-sch-and-hall-stuff
– 星光 erwin. bz-mugging-in-sch
– 永丰 yf. bz-working-part-time-and-gf
– 昌文 nick. bz-with-army-course
– 惠莹 wee yin. bz-with-work-and-bf-and-gym-and-other-frens
– 诗纶 sharon. bz-with-superlong-work-hours-and-other-frens-and-see-first
– 丽诗 lishi. bz-with-work-and-bf-and-sleeping.

not forgetting me..
– 志坚 kein. bz-with-rotting ;(

think i’m too free, heh. nitesie.


condition of my grandpop seems to be worsening. was working at pacific internet peacefully when i suddenly noticed missed calls and multiple unread smses, oops.

turned out that stan was telling me grandad’s condition was quite critical, and they weren’t sure how long he could hang on. oh well. i told my colleagues, called my manager and left within 5mins. luckily the bus came quickly (there’s only one bus out of sci park..) and i recognized the surroundings enough to alight when i was near buona vista mrt.

got there as fast as i could. going inside the icu with stan, grandpop looked positively bad. the last time i saw him was at his place, and i was having a casual chat with him while he smoked as usual. now bedridden, with a respirator needed to help him breathe and needles poking into him all over, eyes lifelessly staring ahead. he didn’t seem to hear me when i talked to him, but stan and i merely held his cold hands and tried to talk about whatever i could think of. call me a bastard if you want, but i was really tempted to power off the fucking respirator just now; i just couldn’t see the point of extending his torment since there wasn’t any cure for his condition.

heard from mum that the stitches from his first op burst apart when he returned home, and the waste matter from his digestive system had mixed with his bloodstream. prognosis? definitely a goner imfo.. just a matter of time.

waited outside until 9+pm, talking with gerald (the younger cousin), noelle (my elder cousin who’d just gotten married last year) before i got too sian and just asked for leave to return home, amidst the steady stream of relatives who were slowly but surely coming. most of the people were quite teary just now, esp uncle david, gerald and noelle. gerald was even saying that he shouldn’t have gone for the first op to remove the tumor at all; at least he could’ve lived out a few more months in peace. man. but top awards go to me for being quite expressionless + lacking in reaction, and my old man for being in a jovial mood even, smiling while talking with the rest. man, i think he’s bonkers.

wonder what’s happened to yiting tho; her blog’s suddenly replaced by a depressing page of self-reproach. she didn’t really sound that good last night when we talked online, but i didn’t expect something like this. shrug, talk to her when i see her again online i guess.

just talked to sunny (poly bball buddy) via icq; he was complaining oz didn’t have roti prata when i mentioned that i’d just eaten some ;p ooooops. some things you just can’t have elsewhere.. hiaks. owen’s organising a poly gathering tomorrow night, too bad sunny and zaoliang’s not gonna be ard, sigh. study in australia goooddd… if i had the dough.

kena indirect feedback from my colleague (who was given the necessary info by my dear manager edmund lol) that i was showing a lack of respect for edmund, and should seek to improve my manners. bah, manners? no money no talk.. at most sack me before probation ends lo ;p simply cannot be bothered. i don’t respect guys who talk illogical crap. we should seek to give and take right? lol, give and take la.. why make a fuss outta my manners? 😉

still gotta go out for work tomorrow; sian. zz time soon.

muahaha, a recent blip n others

muahaha ;)))
finally got to play bball just now 😉 too bad there weren’t many people around at the cc just now, and merely played against a bunch of stupid kids. stupid kids with attitude problems somemore.. heh. well, whatever. it’s their attitude, not mine.

recent bad blip.
it’s not really *that* recent an event, but oh well.. tot i’d put it down here anyway.

grandfather’s not really in the pink of health lately; he was complaining of not having an appetite and refused to eat for several days; puasa? ended up being hospitalised, and diagnosed with having a malignant tumor in the stomach which had to be excised.

and you would’ve tot that was bad enough. returning home after the operation, he was delirious, and kept mumbling that he wanted to go home when he was already at home in bed. even his sleep wasn’t a restful one; according to stan (who went down to visit him. i had fucking ot that day) he was literally writhing in pain, and you could see his eyelids fluttering even in zz land. not long after that, the pain returned in full force and he landed back in a&e at sgh.

my two uncles, old man and stan went along down sgh to wait, while mum accompanied grandma at her place. me? i was conned by stan into thinking that it was first sgh, THEN cgh. lulled into a false sense of security.. (was thinking i could at least drop by home and change before i went down) i was told that it was SGH when i called stan to confirm. waliao.. fucking dulan that night. i was in raffles place and could’ve easily gone down in a jiffy; instead my colleague had to detour while we were on the expressway and drop me at paya lebar. happiness. waited there till 10+ and went back when we learnt that he was gonna be warded and kept under observation.

today wasn’t any better; he just went for an op again in the afternoon to remove waste matter. heard that his stomach was swelling due to the stuff being stuck. he was pulling a tantrum before that heh. throwing his pillows left and right in the ward, and ended up being restrained in bed. now? currently in icu still.

my thoughts? i guess it’s just another example of why i don’t feel like living till an old age. being a fucking burden to others, not enjoying old age anyway. who’d enjoy a body that’s slowly but surely deteriorating? if it’s time to go, it’s time to go. i’d rather slip away earlier than suffer this sorta treatment so that i could extend my lifespan for more future repairs until it was really impossible to patch the bod.

but yeah.. i pity the guy. it’s not really sympathy for a loved relative heh.. i’m quite emotionally detached from the entire situation if u ask me. fucked up right? then again, i’d wish for a quick release too if i were him.

3 man invasion?
highlight of the average singaporean’s day 😉
talk about dumb morons. armed with handguns and entering tekong? not that it’s a closely guarded facility of course.. but imfo i think there’s really nothing worth stealing there ;p nice bright colorful buildings attracting dumb gunmen? ponder.. think they sorta forgot to read the ‘home of the infantry’ caption at the ferry terminal. unless of cuz.. they’re interested spending a few hours sawing apart fucking abloy locks in search of stupid m16 rifles while a few thousand members of the saf are in the vicinity, hiaks. get every recruit to give ’em a slap, and their own mothers prob won’t even recognize ’em 😉

was at the coffeeshop with alan after bball (he’d come to show me the report he’d done based on the questionnaire i’d filled in last night), and happened to catch the 10pm news.
“look at them.. so garang!” alan was exclaiming over the garang looking army guys standing ready at the tekong ferry terminal.
“can really feel that you’re safe with them protecting you man.”
“mai lai la.. i bet they’re sianned to death. 600 people happy happy slack in bunk.. suddenly get activated to fucking tekong to search for 3 idiots. have to draw arms la, wear sbo, signal set, liao eh so sian.” i replied drily.
“but i think there’s a few more people who’d be even sianner.. the cq (cqms.. a.k.a. company quartermaster who’s in charge of all the stores) and the armskoteman (incharge of arms). after the guys return.. haha.” always see the flip side of life, not the surface ;p that’s me.

before i left the house earlier on, stan was showing me an article on this. dunno if it’s true 😉 but it’s certainly a funny read. imagine being able to swat missiles away with your oars while shouting ‘tolong tolong!’ at the navy, laugh ;)))

since when have i started watching soccer man.. geez.
i used to hold firm to the principle that i’d only watch if i betted on the game, and i more or less still do ;p
what’s changed is that my colleagues talk about soccer almost constantly.. so i’m more or less getting to know more about recent events thru our nice local tabloid (a.k.a. the new paper) nowadays. never tot i’d be actually talking about soccer with friends in this life, geez.

ongoin’ attitude problem.
it’s not really a new issue, and it’s been ard for like years ;p
anyway. i tend to be quite fixed in my beliefs, and stubborn in my thinking. if anyone tried to push me the opposite way hard, i’d most likely reply with a pleasant ‘fuck u’, dig in my heels and continue sticking to my opinion simply because the silly bugger irritated me if nothing else. like they say, 吃软不吃硬.

but of course.. there’s some things i simply will never rescind my decisions over.. like:
– forgiving people i’ve labelled as fuckers. yeah to me you’ll still be a fucker no matter what. fucker = f.u.c.k.e.r. = kindly get your fucking self out of my fucking sight.
– bogging myself down in a relationship. no sir, i simply cannot be bothered 😉 kindly give the nice females in the world a chance to lead nicer lives lol.

well, that’s me for you shrug 😉 doesn’t sound very nice eh? i never said i was.

clearing out the damn wardrobe.
just discovered for the Nth time that i *still* have alot of clothes which i’ll be unlikely to wear for the next half a year at least ;p split ’em into 3 categories.. namely:
– not wearing in this lifetime most prob. throw!
– pass to stan; not my type of clothes + no time to wear.
– will still wear + my type of clothes for now.
least now it looks a ‘lil emptier. shopping time? hmmmm. no money la! my 10k goal’s still waiting fer me.

lyrics! again.
tot i’d post some up here; been quite awhile since i’ve put anything chinese up haha.

this one is under the recent 叶惠美 album; one of my favourite songs along with 晴天 and 东风破. especially like the sound of raindrops falling in the beginning, along with the music during some parts 😉

周杰伦 – 你听得到
有谁能比我知道 你的温柔像羽毛
秘密躺在我怀抱 只有你能听得到
还有没有人知道 你的微笑像拥抱
多想藏着你的好 只有我看得到
站在屋顶只对风说 不想被左右
本来讨厌下雨的天空 直到听见有人说爱我
坐在电影院的二楼 看人群走过
怎么那一天的我们 都默默的微笑很久
我想我是太过依赖 在挂电话的刚才
坚持学单纯的小孩 静静看守这份爱
知道不能太依赖 怕你会把我宠坏
你的香味一直徘徊 我舍不得离开

this one’s from the 八度空间 album. like to sing it more than listen; it’s one of the more sing-able songs from jay 😉 one that i can sing during ktv sessions anyway :X but of course, it’s yet another sad-ist song.. haha.

周杰伦 – 回到过去
一盏黄黄旧旧的灯 时间在旁闷不吭声
寂寞下手毫无分寸 不懂得轻重之分
沉默支撑跃过陌生 静静看着凌晨黄昏
你的身影 失去平衡 慢慢下沉
黑暗已在空中盘旋 该往哪我看不见
也许爱在梦的另一端 无法存活在真实的空间
* 想回到过去 试着抱你在怀里
想看你的看的世界 想在你梦的画面
想回到过去 试着让故事继续
分散时间的注意 这次会抱得更紧
这样挽留不知还来不来得及 想回到过去
思绪不断阻挡着回忆播放 盲目的追寻仍然空空荡荡
灰濛濛的夜晚睡意又不知躲到哪去 一转身孤单已躺在身旁
Repeat *
沉默支撑跃过陌生 静静看着凌晨黄昏
你的身影 失去平衡 慢慢下沉 想回到过去