finally back home.. sigh.

’tis been busy these days while the funeral’s been on.
i’ve had more than enough sleep of course, but pulled the graveyard shift every night from thursday till saturday. playing cards with my cousin, her husband, uncle david, stan and mother till 6 a.m. before the rest wokeup to take over, man. pimple overload heh. i finally found my saiyuki #1 at a comic shop nearby tho.. finally!

be it burning the incense paper (supposed duty of the grandchildren) or moving things,
chunky gerald always found some way to shirk the work. bloody talented at chaokeng.
the burning of the incense paper’s not as easy as you think it is..;p not with only three grandchildren. it’s supposed to be burning constantly, and we’re not allowed to dump like 10,000 sheets at a single go. therefore.. one sheet at a time, keep the fire nice and happy all the time. add the taoist chant (battery operated player) repeating itself approx every 20 secs.. for 3 days. do the maths urself. wah man.. can drive u nuts.

one dumb blip that occurred during the funeral, heheh. i wasn’t supposed to wear my ring/earring, so i took ’em out and only wore my earring during zz time :X didn’t have time to buy earsticks, and was quite afraid the hole’ll close on me. so in the end, it was me trying to poke my earring back into where it belonged while behaving like a half-resurrected zombie in the early morning. so one of these mornings, yours truly actually pierced *another* hole above my original hole with the earring.. and didn’t even realise it until the following morning duh. and i was still wondering howcome the pus/blood was flowing out that night -.- man.

on the other hand, i realised that the dumb stuff i’ve been doing at work all these months has a positive effect after all; i do saikang much much much faster now.. lol. i was like the saikang i/c there ;p assign me a task and i’ll divvy it up among my fellow victims (a.k.a stan, gerald and noelle’s hubby steve.)

the entire affair’s been quite an eye-opener anyway; all the rituals, chanting, praying blahblah. not that i’m a devout taoist, but well.. suffice it to say that i would be incurring the inciepient disapproval + wrath of the entire family had i tried to refuse participation. so.. shrug. better to just go thru the motions of everything, regardless of whether i truly believed in reincarnation of my grandad’s soul or not.

one thing that i’m quite certain about now.. heh. when it’s my turn.. i’d quite prefer to disappear without any kinds of ceremony at all. no siree, kindly send me to the morgue and keep me there until it’s time to cremate me 😉 after that scatter my ashes in a place i like, and i’ll be quite content. saves time, hassle, money for everyone. i’m not firmly rooted in any religion anyway, no point doing all these stuff if even the deceased doesn’t even believe lol.

my uncles and cousins displayed their emotions more openly, of all the family members present. it was quite understandable that all the wives would be less affected; it wasn’t their father after all. me being me, merely gritted my teeth and struggled to hold my tears back. i certainly wasn’t gonna break down and weep along with the rest. i realised that the intense atmosphere was quite infectious. the sight of uncle david bawling his heart out when grandad’s coffin was pushed into the incinerator was.. extremely heart wrenching to say the least.

i suppose my perspective has gotten more pragmatic; life still goes on despite the absence of grandad to accompany us now. i should be happier that he’s finally released from the pain that he’d to endure, ever since the entire stomach tumor thing started. no amount of mourning’ll revive him after all, so i guess the best thing to do is to hold him in my heart and remember him for the love and concern he showed me since my birth.
one thing i should remember to do is to print a photo of grandpa that i took a year ago for my cousin and uncle. shrug, it looks better than the b/w passport photo that we carry in our wallets at least.

hais, looking forward to another pay cut this month. didn’t work for three days, wonder howmuch i’ll be getting. already broke from spending extra $ during the funeral, saving’s down to $200 now bleah.

not to mention it’s 11+ p.m. now and there goes my weekend.. work tomorrow again yay. sibei song.

watched my one and only planned tv proggie for this year: channel u’s darren+evelyn’s wedding video footage 😉 it might be overimagination on my part, but i can almost feel the happiness that they share simply by looking at their expressions.
幸福 man.. the both of ’em 😉
been collecting alot of newspaper/mag articles on their wedding heh, think i’m too boliao. i mean, whatever for man. but ah well.. it’s a way to burn my time.

nitesie.

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