the night is really good for straightening out your own thoughts. i wouldn’t even be bothered to do so, if not for the fact that i’m forced to stay awake at night these days ;p
aside from industriously writing while talking with various friends online, i’ve been reading the dj bible. not surprisingly, the stuff inside has provided me w/ new pathways of thought, and i’ve been seriously reassessing my own life. not that that 100% of the stuff inside is applicable to me, but seriously.. why bother wasting life moaning about being single, not having a gf etc? like i was talking w/ ms just now.. ‘life’s too short to be wasted over a tree.’
in short, i’m wasting my life feeling empty, bitter, lonely blah blah whenever i see couples, and acting like a desperate and eager beggar who’ll take any handouts.
time to wakeup and smell the bullshit i’ve been spitting for so long 🙂
first of all, priorities have got to shift. education should take place above all others; that’s always been one of my long term goals. and yeah.. materialistic concerns following that ;p i’m a shallow person, so?
so what if i don’t get settled down eventually? fcuk that. if it happens it happens. i should have my own goals and be doing what i want instead of whining all day long and/or bending myself over 720 degrees just to be a nice guy. (well, either a nice contortionist or i’d end up as a very nice pretzel..)
and most importantly, learn to say no! i really hate myself for being such a yes man. and i rightfully suspect that’d be the hardest step for me to take 🙂
i’m fine with who i am, and what i’ve been doing. regrets yes, but that’s all over behind me; time to show some self-respect before i can start getting anyone else’s. living life for my own sake and no one else, because that’s the only existence worth living.
all of a sudden, it feels like my head’s been emptied of a load of useless crap.. metaphorically ;p
2.5 more hrs!