i’m supposed to be asleep in the morning! 😦
and here i am.. ‘cus the starhub techie’s supposed to come over and look @ my modem.

bball yesterday w/ nz in the evening, pretty short but quite unsatisfying
😦 only played like one 3on3 and one full court and that’s it for the night? really feel damn paisay that he came down for the fullcourt only..:X my shots are really improving on the other hand ;p did quite ok for the 3on3 but i sorta lost momentum during the full court sians.

z z z.. i wanna rot n sleep. 😦


my battery’s fully charged for today ;p
slept from 2pm to 7pm, and from 8pm till this morning… brr horrible. i haven’t tried sleeping so much for the last two years at least?

nz’s coming down for bball later, and so i’ve the rest of the day free.. hmm. where to go? old man’s at home.. time to head outside. definitely not continuing my writing ;p leaving that for work time heheh. good progress so far, twenty pages since i’ve resumed.

fcuk my scv connection, it keeps dying off.. and it’s power off/on modem again blahblah. bloodyhell.

if nothing else..

the night is really good for straightening out your own thoughts. i wouldn’t even be bothered to do so, if not for the fact that i’m forced to stay awake at night these days ;p

aside from industriously writing while talking with various friends online, i’ve been reading the dj bible. not surprisingly, the stuff inside has provided me w/ new pathways of thought, and i’ve been seriously reassessing my own life. not that that 100% of the stuff inside is applicable to me, but seriously.. why bother wasting life moaning about being single, not having a gf etc? like i was talking w/ ms just now.. ‘life’s too short to be wasted over a tree.’

in short, i’m wasting my life feeling empty, bitter, lonely blah blah whenever i see couples, and acting like a desperate and eager beggar who’ll take any handouts.

time to wakeup and smell the bullshit i’ve been spitting for so long 🙂

first of all, priorities have got to shift. education should take place above all others; that’s always been one of my long term goals. and yeah.. materialistic concerns following that ;p i’m a shallow person, so?

so what if i don’t get settled down eventually? fcuk that. if it happens it happens. i should have my own goals and be doing what i want instead of whining all day long and/or bending myself over 720 degrees just to be a nice guy. (well, either a nice contortionist or i’d end up as a very nice pretzel..)

and most importantly, learn to say no! i really hate myself for being such a yes man. and i rightfully suspect that’d be the hardest step for me to take 🙂

i’m fine with who i am, and what i’ve been doing. regrets yes, but that’s all over behind me; time to show some self-respect before i can start getting anyone else’s. living life for my own sake and no one else, because that’s the only existence worth living.

all of a sudden, it feels like my head’s been emptied of a load of useless crap.. metaphorically ;p

2.5 more hrs!

strips of two

Dilbert – what if.. your company’s HR worked this way?

Garfield – even yarns can have bad hair days?

practiced my shots for about an hour before getting ready for work and.. i think i’m improving ;p my layup sucks big time though; a story for another day.

but i’m still sianned out 😦 i’d rather go out with friends! grumbles.

strips and grunts

garfield – return of the yarn.

overslept, only managed to bball in the evening and i’m stuck with nothing to do. pretty good just now even though i didn’t play long; i think i’ve rested enough to play a decent game finally heheh. the jumpshot still needs more practice though, there’s still something wrong with the way i do it :X

sigh.. siao liao. work tomorrow, work saturday, bball on sunday morning.. brr. guaranteed half-dead condition on that morning definitely.

have you heard 周杰伦’s 园游会 yet? currently stan and mine’s favourite song.. ‘cus we’re kinda oversaturated on 七里香, 藉口 and 搁浅. 园游会’s a pretty sweet song too, not too sad, kinda romantic?

周杰伦 – 园游会
像我的喜欢 被你看穿

摊位上一朵艳阳 我悄悄出现你身旁
你慌乱的模样 我微笑安静欣赏

我顶着大太阳 只想为你撑伞
你靠在我肩膀 深呼吸怕遗忘
汽球在我手上 我牵着你瞎逛
有话想对你讲 你眼睛却装忙
圆游会影片在播放 这个世界约好一起逛

good idea, bad idea.

good idea – trying to make use of my spare time @ work by writing ‘iam tendem’.

bad idea – getting recurring dreams of cin in the process once again.

maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all -.- finished like three days worth of events and i’m already experiencing this. oh well, gotta get used to it i suppose.. i mean to finish it one way or another.

colleague was reading the latest update on the story last night, since we had nothing better to do ;p and i think my separation of the paragraphs work quite well, since she wasn’t tired out by the sheer length of the thing. good thing? shrug, wait till i get to finishing the entire draft before i begin restructuring the story into more manageable (and evenly sized) portions.

just crawled up from my bed, and i realised i’ve nothing to do? hmm.

bball? swim? rot around central? go out? all viable options.. but lunch/dinner first ;p

damn :(

fell straight into bed after work, and got rudely disturbed by the incoming downpour after only 4 hours of sleep. by the time i finished closing the windows properly.. i was quite awake.

finally found a good way to utilise my work time; i picked up on my unfinished work (i.e. iam tendem) again. finished another day’s worth of events last night, good start? hope it can continue, and i can finish it soon. felt a bit painful to write again though.. but heck.

was talking w/ ah long all the way from 4am till about 6am via icq; listening to his talk about studio, and the problems that surfaced. i tot i sounded blunt.. until i saw his emails. downright abrasive heh, no further comments. i’d be pissed if i received this sorta stuff, not to mention the fact that i hate using emails as official correspondence. necessary evil but i don’t have to like it, shrug.

halfway through, he remarked that i definitely sounded better. better as in my talk was making more sense than i did initially after the breakup last year. i prob sounded like a zombie with half a foot into the coffin, and then more.

we also talked about my little problem, and he was going ‘wah piang’ repeatedly. ‘wah piang’, again and again to all my messages. surprised, not to mention struck laughing; he was grinning all the way on his end (so he said..). tmd, so funny meh? like what he said, in the end the last person left standing will prevail, and so if i persisted.. circumstances would definitely change. i was in a similar joking mood, and remarked,’eh i tell you a better analogy. it’s called – expiry date’s coming.. drinkkkk up!

whenever i see ‘persistence’ i’m reminded of nz’s sms the other day on saturday 🙂 and it somehow links my brain to java oo, don’t ask me why. weird connections on the synapses?

will the firm and unwavering ‘不可能’ spoken in the past change? will shit actually *not* happen for once? stay tuned! but seriously.. i don’t really give a fcuk 🙂 i won’t die if everything doesn’t happen according to what i hope.

got.. to try to get back to bed.. and sleep. sigh.