“Sir help me.”

Here’s a funny but true tale from a guy I play basketball with.

As everyone should know, we have the glorious initial phase of National Service we know as BMT (and what I call Boliao Monotonous Training). So during BMT there’s this all-important test that decides your fate after that; your life as an potential officer cadet thereafter is greatly decided there, no kidding. It’s called the situation test (or sit test) so don’t take my word for it, go ask other guys who’ve been through NS.

And so this aspiring guy had the legendary *Tekong cough before the test period, and reported sick. What he didn’t realise of course, was that the medical officer (or MO) would assign the status of **Att B to him for the rest of the week.

In short? Hello invalid, goodbye test, goodbye officer life. He could literally see the dream evaporating, nooooo.

So what did he do? What would you do?

Guy: Sir, can shorten the days for my Att B?

MO: No.

Guy: Sir, my sit test is coming up. Please.

MO: No. Get out.

Guy: Sir, help me please.

Mo: No. Get out.

Guy: No, Sir help me.

MO: .. knock it down.

This was the first funny part, because he was supposed to be sick and yet he still got punished, lol.

But after he finished his pushups, and recovered..

Guy: Sir help me.

MO: No, get out!

Guy: Sir help.

MO: ..

In the end the MO had no choice and left his own room, lol.

And so the moment the guy booked out, he headed straight for a general practitioner (or GP).

GP: So what’s wrong with you?

Guy: Nothing.

GP: ..?

Guy: I want you to prove that I’m healthy.

GP: ..

I wish I could’ve seen the doc’s face lol. It was probably the first time that he’d seen a recruit wanting him to give a clean bill of health instead of complaining he was sick.

The GP didn’t do it in the end though, since he wasn’t supposed to overrule another doctor’s decision. Tough shite.

But it was a happy ending in the end, since the guy got to go for his sit test, became best recruit for his company, became a Navy regular, and is enthusiastically undergoing his training as an officer cadet now.

And yeah, we end the tale here.

*Tekong cough: some dumb incessant coughing that most recruits encounter, no small thanks to the rust-filled water there.

**Att B: essentially you’re considered only fit for light duties, and usually assigned to menial chores. Half-fcuked MC IMO.


If that’s how long it’s gonna take for a visit to the doc, count me out dude.



Interesting IQ game, solved it in ten minutes heh. 过河游戏! – link courtesy Ed.

– Official teaser trailer for Spiderman 3 on YouTube, for the poor losers like me who can’t view the Quicktime trailer.

Quote of the day:

Of this infinitesimal universe, and in the great scheme of things,
one is but a speck of negligible variable in the history of time
.” – from ahlong‘s silent prayer.

(Don’t believe his 12th-century crap, he wrote it himself. It’s a good piece isn’t it?)

The tennis session

Tennis with Brian on a cool Saturday morning over at his place, and it definitely wasn’t easy.

Running to where you expect the ball to be, then positioning yourself right and returning the damn thing. It requires a hell lot of hand-eye co-ordination, and definitely not something I could do without a ton of practice. I still can’t hit the ball using the centre of the racket, and the ball flew out of the court quite a few times, with one ball even getting lost.

Geez. Fun though, despite the fact that my forearm’s aching and my left thumbs having blisters from gripping the racket.

Let’s hope I don’t hit any more homeruns next time ;p


Vocal lesson today, still trying to still (or rather, reduce) the movements on the chest area. One word, sian. Must work harder at it bah. Another thing’s the lack of smoothness when singing, and I really must try to find out how projecting the voice in a ‘wider’ manner is done.

Brainstorming for the upcoming showcase with E, HY, Kim, Glenn (and WL contributing alot of ideas), and they’re really a spontaneous bunch of people I’ve got to say, with the weirdest ideas lol. Now to see if we can pull it off : )



– Check out Where the Hell is Matt? If you haven’t seen his dancing video before, give it a look. – link courtesy Ah 9‘s Where the hell is Matt?

– Latest bakafish YouTube HG episode’s about his cooking for a kid who hates green peppers – link courtesy Ellen.


The name McFly just reminds me of the Back to the Future movies.

Imagine Biff going: “Hey McFlyyyyyyyy!”

– image from http://backtothefuture.t35.com/

Remember Marty McFly? I was a great fan of Michael J. Fox‘s character back then.
Boy, were the BTTF movies kewl : ) I really loved the sci-fi factor.

– image courtesy of Mitch Glaser‘s Great Scott! post.

That’s just one of the reasons why I like this band that’s called McFly though : ) Heard their songs on the Just My Luck movie recently, and whew do I like them! Tom and Danny‘s vocals really complement each other well, along with great music on Harry‘s drums and Dougie on the bass. And oh yeah great lyrics to boot.

Just My Luck, the song along with movie footage.

YouTube video uploaded by magicallou

Here’s their official site.

I like All About You : )

All About You

YouTube video uploaded by AmandaRose

It’s all about you (it’s about you)
It’s all about you baby (it’s all about)
It’s all about you (it’s about you)
It’s all about you

Verse 1:
Yesterday you asked me something I thought you knew
So I told you with a smile, it’s all about you
Then you whispered in my ear and you told me too
Said you’d make my life worthwhile, it’s all about you

And I would answer all your wishes
If you ask me to
But if you deny me one of your kisses
Don’t know what I’d do
So hold me close and say three words like you used to do
Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it’s all about you, yeah!

(Guitar solo)

Chorus 2:
And I would answer all your wishes
If you ask me to
But if you deny me one of your kisses
Don’t know what I’d do
So hold me close and say three words like you used to do
Dancing on the kitchen tiles
Yes you make my life worthwhile
So I told you with a smile
It’s all about you

It’s all about you (it’s about you)
It’s all about you baby (it’s all about)
It’s all about you (it’s about you)
It’s all about you baby (it’s all about)

I’ve Got You

YouTube video uploaded by OnesmoothJ

The world would be a lonely place
Without the one that puts a smile on your face
So hold me ’til the sun burns out
I won’t be lonely when I’m down

‘Cause I’ve got you to make me feel stronger
When the days are rough and an hour feels much longer

I never doubted you at all
The stars collide, will you stand by and watch them fall? (by
and watch them fall)
So hold me ’til the sky is clear
And whisper words of love right into my ear

‘Cause I’ve got you to make me feel stronger
When the days are rough and an hour feels much longer
Yeah when I got you
Oh to make me feel better
When the nights are long they’ll be easier together

Looking in your eyes
Hoping they won’t cry
And even if you do
I’ll be in bed so close to you
Hold you through the night
And you’ll be unaware
But if you need me I’ll be there

Yeah I got you
Oh to make me feel stronger
When the days are rough and an hour feels much longer
Yeah when I got you to make me feel better
When the nights are long they’ll be easier together


YouTube video uploaded by acyw87

I’ll Be Okay

YouTube video uploaded by acyw87



– Added PostTeaser as a plugin, it seems to be doing what I want : )

– Added navigation on the side of single posts, and a link back to the main page as well. (That’s for you people who don’t know that you can actually CLICK on the blog title to get back.)

Bah, I’ve been edited!

I wrote an email to Men’s Health (it’s a monthly publication) a few weeks back, and here’s how it read:

I’d like to thank Melvin Hoe for making me smile all the way back home on the train, with his article “10 Gym Commandments” in the June issue. (The other commuters must have been wondering if this fellow grinning idiotically at a magazine was actually nuts or something.) Not to say that I haven’t been guilty of those stuff on occasion, but I still found it funny. It was an absolutely hilarious piece of writing, love it!

(Now if only everyone’ll wake their bloody ideas up after reading it.)

I only became a convert to Men’s Health a few months ago, but I’ve got to say that it’s nothing less than impressive; it’s way better than any of the local men’s magazines I read previously, especially with all the health and fitness articles. You all are great, keep it up! : )


I was pretty happy to see my letter published initially, but the elation disappeared like two seconds after I started reading. This is how it appeared in this month’s issue:

Your ’10 Gym Commandments’ story (June 05) made me smile all the way on my MRT train ride home. I must admit that I, too, have been guilty of breaking those unspoken gym rules from time to time, but it was still hilarious to read such a humorous take on it. I only started reading Men’s Health a few months ago and I’ve got to say that it’s nothing less than impressive, especially your health and fitness articles. Let’s hope some of those inconsiderate gym users read your mag too and change their ways!


.. tamade, I sound like a dork. Not that I’m not already one, but the letter’s making me sound like High Emperor Dork instead. It’s looking like it’s from some stiff-necked English teacher in secondary school with every reread, bah.

The bugger who edited my letter sucks! -.-

“.. I must admit that I, too, have been guilty of breaking those unspoken gym rules from time to time, but it was still hilarious to read such a humorous take on it.”

Hilarious meh? I sound like I’m forcing a weak smile while having a ten-foot pole stuffed up my arse or something.

This sucks : (




Bastard!!! #24’s been released in Japan!

I’m eagerly awaiting the translated volume to come along 😀

– Tales of ahlong‘s life as a teacher to come in time (that is.. if I can choke the stories out of him).

– Updates to the blog layout:

  • tweaked the header colors and blog title
  • switched the original two-column excerpt to four-row excerpt instead; displaying the full posts still disgusts me.
  • added next/previous post functions to the side of the individual post pages.

Thanks for the feedback PR! And blah to Adri, I still don’t think my HCI needs brushing up.

Just My Luck: review

I’d seen the trailer for Just My Luck a few weeks ago and it didn’t seem too bad, despite the chick flick tag. Positive comments from friends as well, so I caught it yesterday w/ Ellen.

(Besides, I needed a no-brainer movie to cool the post-exam brain.)

Simple storyline: girl who’s always had all the luck in everything she does exchanges a kiss with a guy who’s perpetually plagued with mishaps. Things get reversed after that, and we see how good (and bad) things become.

The fun part of the movie’s listening to the songs McFly performed, great music IMO : ) Gonna be looking for the OST hmmm..

Eyecandy as usual, the girls inside weren’t too bad (not including Lindsay Lohan that is, not really a fan of hers. I prefer Amanda Bynes). And the lucky/unlucky stuff that happens in the movie, unbelieveable definitely.

Do catch it on a weekday! : )


Two kids outside the Adidas outlet, stomping their feet in time to the stuff shown on the TV in front of ’em. Cute twins : )

And talk about kids, there was this table tennis session going on at Marina Square yesterday, organised by the SSC it seemed. Kids were taking turns to have a go with the adult helpers, and whew were the kids good or what?

So, was it a talent-scouting for potential table-tennis team players? I’ve no idea either, but it’s unlikely to happen as things stand. Like I told Ellen, Singaporean parents (especially Chinese ones) are overly academic-oriented. Who’d let their little tykes train as a sportsman full-time?


There’s this weird magazine advert we saw last night that says “Best selling Airborne formula was created by a second grade school teacher. 100% satisfaction guaranteed.”

Like WTH? I took a look at the website, and it doesn’t say much either, other than the fact that it’s made of herbs, listed a whole bunch of the actual ingredients and it’s supposed to improve your immune system (like how?)

And I don’t like the website: right aligned, uses frames ugh.

Weird. *scratches head*


There was a bunch of people all walking back via Citylink at 11-ish p.m., a lot of them dressed in various shades of red. WTH, National Day Parade rehearsal’s started again? That’s way early hmmm. I’d thought that the full-dress rehearsals (that offer tickets) usually start in early or mid-July.



– Review on Thai Express foodie posted over at the food blog.

– In episode 190 of the Naruto filler anime, Hinata kicks some major ass and puts away bad guy #2. Bad guy #1 appears thereafter, with his unstoppable (for now) ninjutsu.

– Episode 86 of the Bleach filler anime shows a new Bounto and his doll. A dimension-shifting wooden whale? Least that’s what it looks like to me.

– Meanwhile in Bleach‘s manga chapter 232, Ichigo kicks Grimjaw’s arse in his Hollow mode, but his mask shatters just as he’s about to put an end to the poor bugger. Oops?

The eBay scam

I hadn’t planned to write this so early, but scams like this should be known ASAP so.. here goes.

Got this in my email last night. On first look, it looked like a perfectly legitimate eBay-sent email from a fellow user, asking about an auction payment.

And I was nearly tired + dumb enough to login from the email, gees.

Two things stopped me though:

1. The email was sent to kein@keinism.com (not my eBay-registered address)

2. I certainly hadn’t won any damn auction from this user, and there wasn’t even an auction URL about the damn thing I supposedly won.

In the end I played it careful, and logged in straight from the eBay website. And yep, just as I’d guessed: the email was a phishing attempt.

So be careful people, don’t get scammed by this!

*For those people who have no idea on what phishing is:

Derived from the Wiki on phishing:

“In computing, phishing is a form of criminal activity using social engineering techniques. It is characterized by attempts to fraudulently acquire sensitive information, such as passwords and credit card details, by masquerading as a trustworthy person or business in an apparently official electronic communication. ”

If you ever get emails asking you to login for whatever crappy purpose, please open a new browser window, enter the website’s main URL yourself and login e.g. http://www.paypal.com, not the long crappy URL provided in the email.

Hope no one gets phished : )

Post-exam crap, the boring blog

The first paper was a pile of crap. I kept seeing “Draw a simple diagram” over and over again, and drew a bunch of crappy looking pictures. Realised that I’d already memorised a load of useless stuff, and still had questions I had no answers to. Scribbling furiously, trying to beat the clock. I was writing so fast, my thumb actually went numb (duh). All hail the mighty calculator of Erwin’s, saving the day in the later questions. I wonder if the marker’ll be able to read the wormtrails that I wrote.

I managed to escape from the exam hall, thirty minutes before the end of the paper.

Kiss my arse goodbye, GCO3807!

Second paper today turned out to be worse than the first, despite being easier heh. Even the True/False questions and MCQs were making me go “.. WTH?” Finished way early anyway, and woohoo it’s the end! Next semester starting in a coupla weeks tho, bah.

.. and my thumb’s still numb. I wonder why -.-

I’ve been losing sleep so often the past week, I still get insomnia even after the exams. Man!


Oh yeah, the boring blog. Adri‘s saying me blog’s becoming boring. Aye, what else can you expect from the bored one?


Vocal lesson today, scales as usual. We were told to use our tongues in singing, and surprise surprise, it really helps in clarity. I still suck when I sing though, brr.

Factoid of the day: Apparently my blood circulation’s not too good, since my toenails turn purple during vocal lessons o.O It looked like I had purple nail polish on or something, geez.



A monkey goes shopping on YouTube, dragging his pig along.