Keinian ideals – thoughts on the Singaporean Chinese wedding

Helping out at XQ’s wedding last week was a great eye-opener, as it was my first time being a ‘brother’ at a wedding.

I have since concluded that:

  • The games which prelude the fetching of the bride are in essence a ritualised form of degradation for the groom and his mates. Basically, everything done on that morning serves as an affirmation that yes the groom will go through hell to get to the bride, and that includes doing everything and anything. Which of course, gives the ladies a great opportunity to concoct senseless mini-games for the guys. I’d like to see a reverse situation where the ladies are put through similar antics. Equality of the sexes for once? Or better, games where the bride and groom are made to go through gruelling stuff together. After all, isn’t marriage about bonding in the first place?
  • Being a ‘brother’ = you are going to be one busy fellow, and probably wouldn’t get to enjoy much of the wedding dinner. (Then again, the happy couple get to eat even less.) Of course, you’re helping a buddy in need and sharing his joy at a lifechanging moment.

If anything, this experience has strengthened my belief that I should do my utmost not get married (if ever) in SG. A great deal of hassle, not being able to enjoy myself at all, and placing a great deal of inconvenience and unneeded suffering on my buddies even. If I ever need to bond with them, we’ll go out and get drunk or something; there’s got to be an easier way to forge relationships.

All in all, the purpose = public display?

Thanks, but I’ll pass.


19 thoughts on “Keinian ideals – thoughts on the Singaporean Chinese wedding


    I told you a long time ago that it is too busy a day to be enjoyable and yes, in sg, it is about public display.

    Wish it could be like in the movies where the couple can leave the wedding for their honeymoon and the revellers continue to celebrate with dancing, boozing, chatting and such.

    It can never happen here 😛


  2. sad to say, with the elderly, customary n wedding lunch/dinner are compulsory… if not, i will prefer a simple rom, photo taking and honeymoon (fullstop)

    thou the brothers suffer more, the sisters have to wake up early n think of the “games” too. in the end, it tired out the bros n sis… u won’t be surprised if i don’t allow any sabotage to my husband-to-be ;p coz i dun like such ‘games’


    1. pr: nothing is compulsory, it’s all a matter of personal choice. if you stand by your views I don’t see how anyone can force the issue. if the relatives start making noise, give them “do you wanna help pay for it?” guaranteed to shut them up right away.

      and seriously, I think the games can be thought of *before* the wedding day. and if it’s really that tiring I don’t mind swapping roles really ;p gd for mr dven then.


    1. wx: read your entry, very well-written post with constructive suggestions. that blog is turning out good! the content pane on the right is too narrow though, why not make it wider for easier reading?

      I’ll be sure to recommend it to my friend who’s getting married in March (because I’m involved!)


  3. well, we have thought about expanding the width of the side bar but then again, there are still many users using non wide screen monitor. Will think about it and play around with the dimensions. Thanks !!

    HAPPY 2009 !!!


    1. wx: I think I figured the problem out – your blog layouts (both your personal and the woyaojiehunle) always display differently in Firefox, only IE shows the layout as you intended. (I was using Firefox, hence it looked very odd.) You might want to think about tweaking the template lol.

      Happy New Year too.


  4. oh ! thanks .. I tried it out with firefox .. indeed … but then .. it’s quite difficult as I had modified the initial template to get what I wnated it to look (in IE) .. guess have to spend more time on the codes to make it suit more browsers …


  5. Dun think it’s that bad.. i have seen couples enjoying themselves as well during the gate-crash. As for the dinner, i have also seen couples on their tables having most of the food, except for the yam-seng and speech portion. It’s really nt tt bad and jus a matter of choice of whether u like it or nt…


    1. alan: righto, it would be funny if the couple didn’t enjoy the gate crashing games – it’s their bloody wedding day, they should be happy! as to the couple having most of the food, that really is a rarity.

      I reckon everything in the world is a matter of choice; it’s just how often you choose to be bound by the whims of your family/relatives/in-laws/whoever-else’s-opinion-that-matters. A lot of people I know often say, they would prefer their own cosy little wedding but it always ends up being a huge affair. In this context, is it a matter of choice then? : ) The term bopian comes into mind at this point.


  6. xtra09: life mus be a bed of roses for you then, since everything in our life is also just a matter of choice … Good for you that no other external influence will affect your preferred matter of choice then … sadly most people are not living in such a perfect world where choices you made are absolute …


  7. we have choices .. but we can’t choose our parents .. so often they have an important say in the matter .. haha ..

    then again, you can also choose to be bochup . and end up being probably unfillial, no respect etc ..

    then again, it will be good to be able to communicate effectively to parents =)


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