It feels like I am quite the prisoner. Not one clapped in irons certainly. One willingly bound, but equally helpless.
Life in the suburbs without a car makes travel pretty unpleasant, especially when you are saddled with a baby who is still by and large a crawler. Twenty minutes of pushing a pram to the station? No sir, thank you sir. Public transportation is also an unnecessary expense, something I’d like to avoid as much as possible.
Staying at home is the best answer now. Zero expenditure, hassle of public transportation avoided. I do miss the times when I was able to travel freely. To wander the streets in the city alone, a rare luxury; every physical move has to be performed with Elly in mind. I’m sure that feels like an exaggeration to many, but that is how life is like with a child in your care all the time. This role is not for everyone, and I do not exaggerate when I say my lovely career-minded spouse would not take to the same responsibility with equal ease. it will drive her nuts.
My gratitude for the internet’s existence is a given. To be able to write, to interact with friends, family and people all over, the internet is quite the lifeline, without which my mental faculties would slowly but surely rust into ineptitude. Life as a SAHD in this age of technology does have its perks. At the very least, it is keeping me grounded and sane.
The physical shell stays where it is, but my mind is free to express, to travel and to engage. Life is not what it was before, but there are nonetheless little things to be thankful for.