It was supposed to be a little weekend getaway for the two of us, which led to something more. For me at least.
So V and I were talking and getting ready to turn in, when the topic of marriage came up. She said she wanted to have kids, and that in turn meant marriage pretty soon. Next year, she said.
That topic hadn’t crossed my mind in a long while, because it seemed like she was fine the way things were. Never trust your eye (or mind) when it comes to women eh?
Marriage is a big word, and for me it was huge. Needless to say, I found it very difficult to get to sleep that night. Sometimes, it’s not just about nodding your head, going “uh huh” and just rolling with things.
We’re talking about formalisation of commitment. A potentially mindbusting PITA logistical process of a wedding. Buying a damn ring with an expensive ornamental rock. Actually proposing. Having kids. Taking care of the bawling little bugger(s). Losing sleep. Tons of responsibility.
In short, the works.
I ended up watching The Shawshank Redemption on DVD that night. Good movie, kept my mind off things.
I understand you’re a man who knows how to get things.
I’m known to locate certain things from time to time. They seem to fall into my hands. Maybe it’s ’cause I’m Irish.
I was utterly captivated, but the real question of course had to be answered.
It wasn’t much of a decision really. V and I had been together for a while now, and it was pretty much a nobrainer to respect the lady who’d been eking out a new existence with me in Australia all this while, and to honour her as my spouse.
The “decision” was more of a mental hurdle. A mental pep talk if you would, to prepare oneself for the challenges ahead.
“Once we get on this road, there’s no turning back man. Gotta suck it up and take all the tough times with the good, it’s gonna be plenty much harder than what it was before. You ready?”
Being a husband is different from being a boyfriend, and being a father is most definitely a game changer. It was my own way of taking a figurative deep breath before taking the plunge. Needless to say, I took the dive.
Thirty months later, December 2012. I’m sitting at home with a kid asleep in the bedroom and a ring on a different finger. Looking back, who would’ve thought it? I think about all the things that have happened since then, and if you’d gotten me back to June 2010 and let me choose again, I’m pretty sure it would have been the same choice.
It’s a tough road that came with a truck load of obstacles, but that’s how life is – you overcome obstacles, one at a time.