“Sir help me.”

Here’s a funny but true tale from a guy I play basketball with.

As everyone should know, we have the glorious initial phase of National Service we know as BMT (and what I call Boliao Monotonous Training). So during BMT there’s this all-important test that decides your fate after that; your life as an potential officer cadet thereafter is greatly decided there, no kidding. It’s called the situation test (or sit test) so don’t take my word for it, go ask other guys who’ve been through NS.

And so this aspiring guy had the legendary *Tekong cough before the test period, and reported sick. What he didn’t realise of course, was that the medical officer (or MO) would assign the status of **Att B to him for the rest of the week.

In short? Hello invalid, goodbye test, goodbye officer life. He could literally see the dream evaporating, nooooo.

So what did he do? What would you do?

Guy: Sir, can shorten the days for my Att B?

MO: No.

Guy: Sir, my sit test is coming up. Please.

MO: No. Get out.

Guy: Sir, help me please.

Mo: No. Get out.

Guy: No, Sir help me.

MO: .. knock it down.

This was the first funny part, because he was supposed to be sick and yet he still got punished, lol.

But after he finished his pushups, and recovered..

Guy: Sir help me.

MO: No, get out!

Guy: Sir help.

MO: ..

In the end the MO had no choice and left his own room, lol.

And so the moment the guy booked out, he headed straight for a general practitioner (or GP).

GP: So what’s wrong with you?

Guy: Nothing.

GP: ..?

Guy: I want you to prove that I’m healthy.

GP: ..

I wish I could’ve seen the doc’s face lol. It was probably the first time that he’d seen a recruit wanting him to give a clean bill of health instead of complaining he was sick.

The GP didn’t do it in the end though, since he wasn’t supposed to overrule another doctor’s decision. Tough shite.

But it was a happy ending in the end, since the guy got to go for his sit test, became best recruit for his company, became a Navy regular, and is enthusiastically undergoing his training as an officer cadet now.

And yeah, we end the tale here.

*Tekong cough: some dumb incessant coughing that most recruits encounter, no small thanks to the rust-filled water there.

**Att B: essentially you’re considered only fit for light duties, and usually assigned to menial chores. Half-fcuked MC IMO.

-~-

If that’s how long it’s gonna take for a visit to the doc, count me out dude.

-~-

Addendum:

Interesting IQ game, solved it in ten minutes heh. 过河游戏! – link courtesy Ed.

– Official teaser trailer for Spiderman 3 on YouTube, for the poor losers like me who can’t view the Quicktime trailer.

Quote of the day:

Of this infinitesimal universe, and in the great scheme of things,
one is but a speck of negligible variable in the history of time
.” – from ahlong‘s silent prayer.

(Don’t believe his 12th-century crap, he wrote it himself. It’s a good piece isn’t it?)

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Dumb comments bug? SAF day WTF.

Some of you have talked about this before, but this is the first time I’ve seen it:

Hello hello, why’s the comment section up there?

Dunno the workaround yet though; I don’t even know WTF’s causing it.
I’ve tested a few things, and it seems that it’s not:

– the length of the post
– the length of the comment
– the categories chosen
– the length of the title

So I dunno WTF it is yet. Prolly a combination of some other freak factors that I haven’t discovered. I wonder if it’s related to the pingback thing hmm. Weird Hemingway bug.

Will debug when I know the cause (which is whenever).

Update: And YES, as of 0323 hrs I have gotten the fcuking bug licked! (I think.) Shifted the ‘About’ box in front of the main post box, switched both to float left and yeah baby, we are back in action. If anything else, my version of Hemingway’s definitely way better patched heh.

This goes to show that I probably have the tenacity of a cockroach and the stamina of a zombie; maybe I should go back to programming as a career after all. Do they hire debuggers?

-~-

And yeah, on another equally shitty note. I’ve been conscripted selected for our beloved SAF’s SAF Day parade this year. Apparently they’re so in need of soldiers that I have to be recalled to be part of the marching contingents, WTF. I love SAF.

Disclaimer: Not that I’m a disloyal citizen or anything, but please ah, consider the following factors:

– The training’ll be carried out in June.

– My blardy exams are in June. Does June sound familiar? Yes, I do need to revise and take the fcuking exams.

– The training’ll be held somewhere in the far west area, and I have to reach there by approx 0700hrs, and return home after 2200hrs. WTF, take the first MRT out for how many days?

– I have to work. (Although this can prob be excused, thanks to the shitty training.)

– The training period spans half a month or more, and it only counts as a low-key ICT. Yes, LOW.

– And I’ll prob have to get a nice neat haircut for the parade, which sucks big-time.

– Not to mention the fact that I prolly won’t fit into my no.4 after all the gym sessions.

One word: sian.

Addendum:
– fcuk this, I’m too pissed to write.

Reminder of the day: Get all the papers ready, try to get out of this shit ASAP.

The start of a boring Monday, boring lessons ahead & a green screen error

Gotta head off to gym soon, since I’ve already skipped out for three days. Chiong ah! Time to murder the pecs and triceps today, and blister-growing time for the feet *rolls eyes in disgust*

And I’ve got my first lesson after that in the evening; that sucks. I’m praying I don’t fall asleep there or something, since three hours usually mean something like boredom-to-the-power-of-ten. This tutor has a supposed lousy reputation, and my expectations for the lesson’re already rock-bottom as it is.

-~-

Update! (WordPress managed to lose my post as well, thanks to one of those earlier errors I’d blogged about after porting. Grrrreeat. So I’m in rewriting mode now.)

Lessons are going to be.. bad.

The timing’s bad at least. After 10 p.m. is like the timing when every single damned person goes home, and the MRT’s packed. Argh, this sucks. Totally reminds me of past office hour home trips.

Well, the lecturer’s not too bad. In fact, she’s an Indonesian who speaks Singlish, how kewl is that? Talk about assimilating the local lingo. Then again, Singlish is kinda atrocious sometimes; I’ll really like to not hear it in my lessons -.-

She is fairly good though, supplementing the lecture notes with additional stuff, and manages to keep the lesson interesting (which means I didn’t fall asleep. The guy next to me was three-quarters concussed tho). I mean, it’s not her fault that the subject syllabus sucks. (We’ll get to that later.)

On the applications to be taught, heh. Turns out I’d used both before, so it shouldn’t be too tough. GIMP is a freesource graphics editing tool, which is kinda similar to Adobe Photoshop.. BUT. Much much more difficult to use. (That explains why it’s free.) Audacity on the other hand, is a sound editing program, also freesource. But it rocks totally I tell you, should give it a try. (Google the names if you’re interested, bah.)

The bad thing about the lessons? Outdated syllabus, so it seems. I felt like I’d jumped into a time distortion zone and went back to my poly days. Let’s just look at two quotes from the lecture today.

Quote #1: “To address the demand of the rapidly growing multimedia market, Intel has introduced MMXâ„¢ technology to its new line processors that dramatically improves the clarity and speed of audio, video, and speech.”

Now, MMX? New line of processors? That certainly sounds wrong. MMX was introduced with the earlier Pentium generations IIRC (If I Remember Correctly), and that’s at least six years ago? Oh man.

Quote #2: “Very recently Optical ROM (OROM) is developed using holographic storage that requires very little power, making it ideal for handheld, battery-operated devices.”

I didn’t even know whaddahell OROM was, so I ended up Googling it. On one of the more reasonable hits (The Free Dictionary) I read: “(Optical ROM) An optical storage technology from Ioptics, Inc., Bellevue, WA, that never came to fruition.”

Note never came to fruition, i.e. dinosaur technology that’s gone extinct. ARGH, I should burn all my notes before I get infected with all this outdated shite.

-~-

Argh, this is driving me nuts. Anyone encountered this problem with watching streaming AVI/WMV files? I open them in a browser, and I can hear the audio but NOT see video. (All that’s shown is a fcuking green screen!) If I download the damn video it shows perfectly fine in my computer’s player.

Suspecting the plug-in problem but reinstalled both Quicktime and WMP9 codecs, still the same damn problem. I’m gonna tear my hair out soon, argh. Where the hell is that buggy codec?! Suggestions, anyone? This sucks.

-~-

Death Note is another interesting manga series I’m reading right now. A book that you can write names in, and people simply die? Kewl, but there’s rules to how you do it. (Nothing’s perfect.) The protagonist Light is a student, who picks the book up, realises its power and starts killing off criminals to cleanse the world. Nothing goes smoothly of course, and up against him is a shadowy individual named L, who vows to take Kira (Light’s pseudonym) down in the name of justice. Interested? Go buy it then ;p

Addendum:
Tontie continues to entertain ;p Turns out the leftmost hammer allows you to hit the spiked thingies (whatever they are).

– There’s this site called dabao.sg if you’re craving for local food in the middle of the night, but yet too lazy to walk or drive out. Give it a look, but note: there’s delivery charges. (Courtesy of Aloy before he left.)

– I’ve received my first NS callup.. for SAF Day? Whaddahell do they need NSmen for? Certainly not for a damn parade, since the training period’s too short, ugh. Heck.

Reminder of the day: Never trust WordPress, save before publishing.

of wisdom teeth

I was reading about WX’s wisdom tooth extraction just now, and it reminded me of my own toothy tale; maybe I should write it down here. It’s not like I’ve anything else to write about at the moment. (Then again, there’s always Corpse Bride hmm. We’ll come to that later.)

I’m not sure if it’s still in practice now, but during my time in NS, it was quite the norm (among my NS buddies at least) to have the wisdom teeth pulled before we hit our ORD. This was to sort of ‘extend’ our leave period, so that we wouldn’t need to go back camp unnecessarily. After all, we were leaving the bloody place soon, so why not?

Secondly, wisdom tooth extractions cost a bomb outside ;p Some people like to think of it as such; “Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke.” Me? I’d rather remove all of the bloody buggers before they returned to haunt me (and my wallet) in future, while the costs were still subsidised. Yep, subsidised a.k.a. FREE. Now you begin to understand :O

My experience was more special, in a way. I was planning to start on my braces back then, and that alone required me to extract four teeth. Add the four wisdom teeth to the plans, and I ended up looking at a total of eight teeth being removed in a single go. Yep eight, you read that right. Don’t wince 🙂

I was slightly more fortunate though, since I got the option of going under general anaesthesia instead of remaining awake under local anaesthesia. That meant that I would blackout under the chloroform, and awake with the entire thingy finished. It definitely sounded much better than the stories I’d heard from me friends, who were ranting about keeping awake for hours while the dentist poked, drilled and pulled at their senseless jaws.

So the day of the operation came, and I got wheeled into a room with a bunch of people at the ready. Wires attached to various parts of the body, and then a nurse put the mask on me, telling me to breathe deeply. So.. I took a deep breath, and I concussed right away heh. Powerful stuff, I tell you.

The next thing I knew, I was sitting up, being wheeled out into a ward. My mouth was full of cotton, and I was in pain. Big time pain, at that. It was about the only time that I yearned so much for painkillers, and that’s saying alot. And all the time, I was like spitting blood out, changing the cotton wads in my mouth, repeat ad nauseum.

(Now we come to the slightly funny part, so don’t fall asleep yet.)

So I was busy spitting blood, and another guy got wheeled in. Judging from his age and the cotton in the mouth, I presumed he was a kindred soul i.e. yet another NSF who had his teeth pulled. I waved a hello at him, and he replied in kind.

He pointed at himself, and held up four fingers. Four teeth pulled.

(I smirked internally at that point. Four teeth only, wanna compare?)

I pointed at myself, and held up eight fingers. Sorry brudder, I win this round.

He could only shake his head in disbelief. I expect he was trying to imagine his current level of pain, doubled at that 🙂

Moral of the story: always get your damn wisdom teeth pulled before you leave the army, it saves all the undue grief (and money) in later years. I was shaking my head when I saw the amount WX paid for her single extraction, and mentally multiplying it by four. Hmm..

of those buzzing buggers.

I, am tired. Very, very tired.

Tired enough to yawn barely ten minutes after I entered the office, yawning so wide that I could probably swallow a baby whale whole and not have to burp after that. *shows gaping jaws* And I’ve been yawning the entire night, even as I’m typing right now.

The first assignments from school have been happily dumped back to the unit advisors, and I’m blissfully rotting for now 🙂 I’m half-wondering if I’m actually prepared for the exams though. Rot rot rot rot rot. Bah, you wish. Somehow life for me never seems to consist of idling, ugh.

Earlier in the day, the brother and I took an hour or so out of the house (at my suggestion) and sat down somewhere outside in the neighbourhood, simply enjoying the breeze. You’d find less stale air in an unopened crypt than our house; it’s a bloody furnace on days like these. And so, we talked. Talked of idle affairs, and others not-so-idle.

Stuff like the recent plague of mosquitoes that’s been invading his room, and the assorted bites he’s been getting on a nightly basis. He’s been entertaining thoughts of either torching his entire bedroom so that the nasty little buggers could be roasted, or simply wearing earplugs to sleep on a permanent basis just to escape the buzzing of the mosquitoes. Army stories from ahkein, about the amazing swarm of mosquitoes I had to fend off during my guard duty at the PLC live firing range. Seriously crazy bloodsuckers, those $#^%@%#$. Immune to both insect repellent and mosquito coils; sibei hardcore.

If only everyday can be as peaceful, hrm.

Sian ah!

“With pride we lead!”

It’s funny how ironic that cheer sounded, now that I think of it.
Pride? I wonder how many of the trainees had pride when they were there.
Where? Of course, the lousy place in Pulau Tekong known as SISPEC (School of Infantry Specialists).

SISPEC was my home in the army right after I passed out from BMT (Basic Military Training) in Sep/Oct ’01; imagine my horror when I ended up in the very place I didn’t want to be in, especially since I was vehemently against the idea of becoming a ‘sar-tiao’ or sergeant. I was hoping that I could get into military police or OCS (Officer Cadet School) on my own. Yep, it’s hard to believe that when you look at me now, but back then kein was a naive and ‘siao-on’ recruit during BMT ;p

“So.. SISPEC warrior?” One of my sergeants grinned at me after I received my posting.

“Yes sergeant..” I tonelessly replied. The feeling of watching most of the other guys lug their duffel bags off Tekong only increased the gloom, making us (the so-called SISPEC warriors) feel like we’d been abandoned ;(

The feeling only got even worse after the course started. The co-operative spirit that characterised BMT had evaporated, and left everyone with a ‘every man for himself’ attitude. Training well and truly sucked, but it wasn’t unbearably tough; it was just the fact that I grew more and more disappointed with the people around me as the weeks passed by.

One Friday night while lying in my bed, I sort of decided that I had enough. The disgust and growing knee pains made me conclude that I probably won’t pass out with this bunch of guys, and I promptly headed off to report sick the following morning. That was a major crossroads in my NS life, since I’d pretty much decided not to grit my teeth and endure through the course but instead give up.

So it came to be that I finally got myself OOC-ed (out of course). That was a pleasant moment, and it got even better after I was transferred to the specialists’ mess as a messboy =)

Life at the mess was definitely one of my better phases in the army. Waking up at 9 a.m., slowly reading the papers or TV till lunchtime, free sessions of pool if I felt like it, a ready kitchen to cook up snacks, readily available afternoon naps and even the occasional drink of wine late at night after we (everyone in the mess) closed up. I spent quite a few evenings sprawled on a sofa near the window, watching the new trainees (my batch had already passed out by then) stumble their way through the obstacle courses. Not to mention that I learnt more about drinking than there than I’d done in my previous 20 years of existence ;p

But I knew of course that this life wasn’t a permanent one, and I’d get posted out eventually. Nevertheless, my luck continued to hold out and I got into a pretty comfortable outfit in the end ;p

But it was with a sense of relief when I stepped onto the bus heading out to the ferry terminal, and mentally bade farewell to my four months of life there; the people I got to know, and the things I experienced. I resisted a rising urge to give the finger at the place at that time; there were quite a few warrant officers on the bus grins.

And that was the last time I ever took the Tekong ferry in my NS life, phew. Good riddance.

Here’s Garfield as usual, I’ll prob post other strips on my next post =)

Runtime

runtime.
;)) ended up really going for a run just now. not really sure how far i ran.. perhaps close to 2km at most ;p but i was going at a pretty fast clip, more or less my usual pace when i ran my rounds back in ns. nahh… definitely slower 😉 i’ve slackened since then.

it feels mindlessly exhilarating to be jogging out at night, grinz. with the cool night air and the relative silence, you could just concentrate on your running and clear your mind of everything else. ohm..;p

oddly enough, the run brought back memories of jogs back during my unit life, hiaks.
– runs with ah ben and yinghao (usually..) running figures of either 0, 6 or 8 in camp. other guys like andrew and mervyn would join us on occasion, but they usually couldn’t keep to our pace :X
– interval training with yinghao at the slope infront of soce. siong but fun, laugh. the slopes that we’d encounter while running, and how i’d usually endup behind ben but infront of yinghao ;p
among the older guys i was one of the keener runners back then hiaks. the rest of the guys simply weren’t that interested in running. slacking was another issue altogether of course.. haha 😉 i’m all for slacking too! too bad i never got to hit ippt gold timing before during service days; the closest i ever got to was 10:00 :X so near yet so far. oh well.. hope for miracle to happen in future ippt days ;p there’s always cat y to look forward to hahaha.

nice read 😉
was browsing thru buzz’s blog just now 😉 his entries’ll really make you laugh out loud, smile. the humor in the words simply make you feel feel that way. be sure to give it a read!

running out of reading material during work hours tho’, and i’m resorting to buying the straits times every morning to occupy my mind during transit. either that or sleeping :X
robert jordan’d better publish the next book for wheel of time soon.. arrrgh. i’m still waitinggg.g.gggg.g. altho john grisham has new works out already.. but i’m kinda giam siap right now :X haven’t even bought the king of torts yet sighs. tom clancy’s jack ryan series are a no-no for me.. the plot’s gone all way downhill 😉 unless i get my books back from cin, think i’m not gonna touch tom clancy for now; i wanna read everything together ;p

bah, got a buncha interview questions from alan to fill in now, think i’ll stop here 😉
nightz to u all.