Keinian ideals: 7 keys towards a lasting relationship

Technically speaking, I can hardly hold claim to being any kind of expert at all, and not especially in the murky emotional goo that we call relationships. I have had numerous infatuations, a brief dramatic courtship which sizzled rather quickly, and finally my partner V. I wouldn’t say we are madly in love, but a stable relationship which burns steadily is always preferable to a roaring bonfire of five seconds.

In the years before V and I got together, I thought rather hard about the things that make a relationship work better. I may not have all the answers, but I reckon some of these “keys” should unlock the woes that might exist on your present and future relationships.

  • #1: Never lash out in a fit of anger.
    Words have lasting impact, and harsh words even more so. Have the patience to swallow your anger and cool down, before talking things out rationally with your significant other.
  • #2: Work out your problems together.
    Share your woes with the partner, and try to work them out together. Two heads are often better than one, and letting it out is way better than bottling all the worry inside of you. Talk is the start of a resolution.
  • #3: Appreciate your partner for what he/she is.
    It is often easier to spot faults than to uncover the shining merit that lies within. Accept them for what they are; show appreciation for what they do, and not whine endlessly about what they do not.
    (Edit: I thought I’d left out the show in show appreciation, but apparently I didn’t. Here’s for NZ.)
  • #4: Find time to share experiences.
    Take time out to bond; take a walk out somewhere, learn a new language together, have fun in the kitchen and make a big mess. Shared experiences bring people closer.
  • #5: Trust.
    Others may comment that trust is earned, not given. However, trust has to be freely given for the relationship to grow.
  • #6: Never be too proud to apologise.
    If you are the one at fault, make sure that you do say sorry for what you did. One word goes a long way, and giving a hug helps a great deal more.
  • #7: Improve the relationship.
    A plant may wilt from lack of sunshine. Similarly, a relationship deteriorates from lack of effort. Work together towards improving the relationship. Be a complement to what your partner lacks, and vice versa. Learn to provide emotional and mental support, always. Never, ever take your partner for granted. Never.

Would you have any other tips that would help to sustain a relationship in the long run? Feel free to comment as always.

Advertisements

Quality work?

-~-

Unexpectedly (seriously unexpected), ql threw my novel to a friend of his, and told her about it being “a quality work by a unprofessional writer”. Luckily.. she didn’t scream her lungs out in agony or dig her eyeballs out in sheer frustration after reading it, and actually mentioned that she liked it. *heaves huge sigh of relief*

That aside, I seriously appreciate the fact that he actually recommended it to someone else. Thanks a load man : )
(And yes, thanks goes out to all the other people who’ve bothered to read it, blah.)

-~-

In contrary to my past theory about braces affect whistling, I have realised that I still can’t whistle right now, lol. Therefore, I have run out of excuses and officially suck.

-~-

Just got me retainers done today at the dental clinic. And yeah, for those who don’t have the slightest idea WTF retainers are, they look like some fcuking transparent casts for your teeth, and you wear ’em the same way you would if you had dentures.

They’re uncomfortable though, and believe me when I say you have to keep swallowing, you really have to do that so very very often, lest the saliva simply collects in your entire friggin’ mouth. Yes, it sounds gross but reality’s always like that. People who’ve been through this’ll understand how crappy this is. For those who’re still going through the treatment? Good luck ;p

And I’m supposed to wear ’em 24/7 (excluding eat and brush) for an entire year at least, to prevent the teeth from going crooked. Man, this sucks.

-~-

Addendum:
Hilarious Adam Ferrera comedy clip on YouTube, courtesy of KingMeng.

– This article on Berluti at Manolo for the Men makes the shoes sound so damn good. Gees, am I tempted. I’ve always been a sucker for comfy shoes ;p

Google founders get $1 salaries? Then again, they prolly don’t care a shit about the salaries, given the amount of Google stock they’re holding : ) – link courtesy of NetworkWorld.

Reminder of the day: Finish up the next assignment ASAP, heh.

of a long forgotten line.

… I loved you once. Yep, I know I’m a fool. But do you truly understand why? I hope you do, ‘cus I still don’t.

I was really surprised, and kinda shocked when I saw this sentence appear on PR’s diary. It’s been so long ago that I’d nearly forgotten it all; that I was the one who originally penned that line.

Not sure what I’m talking about? Head down to iam tandem and download the PDF then. A lengthy read, but well.. if you’re bored it should be pretty amusing : )

early morning supper

close to 2 a.m.
just had supper out with honda at some 24hr coffeeshop in tampines 700+ area =)
been quite some time since we’ve seen each other outside, and i literally talked my throat dry haha, dunno if he felt the same. ate while talking, and continued to crap with him for about 2 hours i think.. talked about iam tandem, his car, school, work, and the future generally. if he really goes to the states after graduation, i’ll be able to look for him and have a holiday when i finish my degree? ;p distant thoughts, heh heh.

ah…
first day after final completion of iam tandem. starting to bored after all the rush, should find something else to occupy myself. i’m hoping that the reader count and comments will increase gradually; will it actually be a big hit in the local online community? don’t wanna overdo the blatant advertising =X kinda shameless haha. let’s see how it’ll go with word of mouth spreading.. hmm.

not sure if i’ll write any other works for now though; writing requires first hand experience, and to narrate something fictional is something akin to lying. if a lie isn’t good enough, it’ll be pretty embarrassing if a reader points it out =X shelf the idea for now, maybe expand on my other works section for now 🙂

today?
went out to beach road and collected my tickets for ‘sky captain and the world of tomorrow’; seems like this movie is really throwing out the preview tickets like nobody’s business. i saw tickets being given away when u buy playworks magazine, and mediacorp radio has the contest for the tics as well, gee. and it’s all on the same screening ;p

after that i sortof hollanded myself and walked the wrong way, ending up near lavender mrt instead. sigh, had to topo back to sim lim tower and then to bugis mrt, and it was a tired and sweaty kein who arrived @ bugis junction in the end, drawing disgusted stares from people all around. *insert stink waves*

slowly ate @ mosburger after that, cooling down and reading eddings’ malloreon series while munching my teriyaki burger; it’s been too damn long since i’ve eaten fast food in a leisurely manner =X the feeling of sitting there not caring the time of the day and relaxing in the aircon, while browsing thru a book is gooddddd.. haha.

i’d wanted to check if ultimate spiderman trade #11 had arrived yet… but NOPE, fat hopes. after that the splurge impulse came; i saw this jude tenjo tenge figure out on sale at kinokuniya bugis, and bought it =X asked the staff there, ‘does it come with the comic?’
*staff says no*
*me opens up box after that, and finds dumb manga inside in japanese*
all i can say is… damn ex. and i already have that issue of that manga in taiwan edition, fcuk. the figure looks damn damn damn damn good though, slurpz.
does it look good to u? grins. it’s on my comp table now =)))

and oh no… i can’t find my tian xia #15 compiled edition =(( comics connection doesn’t have any spare copies sigh. i guess i’ll have to either make do with the copy that has the pages falling off… OR look for it in ebay. sadness.

still talkin’ w pr online now, since she’s working tonight. wk come back from your holiday soon lei! =( working alone damn sian arrgh.. bleh. was talking about japan travel stuff and now we’re talking about the differences between wolves, coyotes and hyenas, dunno why she’s so interested all of a sudden. do you know how to? ;p i’m also half fcuked regardin this sorta thing haha.

today’s simply full of..

good news:
– i’ve finished my website! kein’s neverending web design version 7, iam tandem online. pdf copy of iam tandem uploaded too, feel free to download, read and gimme your comments! =)) finally.. hiak hiak.

– finished assembling the sofabed and desk =) stuff came in the afternoon, and i was busy rearranging, cleaning and setting up the damn things. all done at last… looks nice =)) the bed’s a queen size when i open up the sofabed.. woohoo. but even unopened it’s more than enough for me to zz. now to await the arrival of my tv in a few months’ time..

(nearly) bad news:
– ct called me in the noon. “eh you wakeup liao ah? ok you can go back to sleep liao, pr mc today maybe need you to work tonight.” :O *insert shocked expression* lucky i didn’t get it heh. damn boring to work three nights in a row.

– down with flu and sore throat now pui. damn infection’s going around the family..

that’s all. read iam tandem! =X

updates!

smooth progress on iam tandem =)
i’ve finished the pdf last night; decided that no one’s gonna rip off my stuff and shrugged the encryption part off. at least that’s done.

after waking up in the noon, i went back to work on the webpage and finally figured out why the images weren’t displaying properly -.- seems that if you use dwt and specify root folder as your whatever directory that holds the files, browser still won’t recognize your root folder and will continue to recognize the path as C:blahblah.file when it’s supposed to be C:webblahblah.file (if your root folder is C:web that is) everything went smoothly after that, and i’ve finished the index page as well as the first title page, phew. expect to finish more tomorrow if i have time.

bro just called me saying the internet connection’s down, and ipconfig doesn’t even show the existence of the nic. :O has my nic died on me all of a sudden? sigh.. bad news man.

it looks like..

i’ll be getting my entire set of furniture earlier than expected ;p
went down ikea with mother & stan after catching forty winks in the morning (didnt go bball fortunately; jw went down late and there was *no one* around pui.) and shopped around till evening. mother was good enough to pay for the furniture i wanted in advance, and i’ve bought my sofabed & the second desk at one go, woohoo! she also bought a sofa for the living room ;p and i’m officially a friend of ikea! free membership’s good =)) free drinks whenever i go down there, discounted meals and redemption of points for vouchers =X look for me if u’re goin to ikea to shop!

wtf is =
saw his explanation via sms, but i think ah long’s turning it into an entire language entirely; i should be happy that nothing happened but ugh, nevermind. i suspect it’ll be the start of several more similar episodes though; let us wait and see.

bug!
seems that i’ve to decrypt the damn pdf if i add the security restrictions =X
will find out if it’s possible to skip that tomorrow night.. cus i’m working alone sigh, plenty of time to kill. if not then i guess i’ll just redo the pdf without security =(