Technically speaking, I can hardly hold claim to being any kind of expert at all, and not especially in the murky emotional goo that we call relationships. I have had numerous infatuations, a brief dramatic courtship which sizzled rather quickly, and finally my partner V. I wouldn’t say we are madly in love, but a stable relationship which burns steadily is always preferable to a roaring bonfire of five seconds.
In the years before V and I got together, I thought rather hard about the things that make a relationship work better. I may not have all the answers, but I reckon some of these “keys” should unlock the woes that might exist on your present and future relationships.
- #1: Never lash out in a fit of anger.
Words have lasting impact, and harsh words even more so. Have the patience to swallow your anger and cool down, before talking things out rationally with your significant other.
- #2: Work out your problems together.
Share your woes with the partner, and try to work them out together. Two heads are often better than one, and letting it out is way better than bottling all the worry inside of you. Talk is the start of a resolution.
- #3: Appreciate your partner for what he/she is.
It is often easier to spot faults than to uncover the shining merit that lies within. Accept them for what they are; show appreciation for what they do, and not whine endlessly about what they do not.
(Edit: I thought I’d left out the show in show appreciation, but apparently I didn’t. Here’s for NZ.)
- #4: Find time to share experiences.
Take time out to bond; take a walk out somewhere, learn a new language together, have fun in the kitchen and make a big mess. Shared experiences bring people closer.
- #5: Trust.
Others may comment that trust is earned, not given. However, trust has to be freely given for the relationship to grow.
- #6: Never be too proud to apologise.
If you are the one at fault, make sure that you do say sorry for what you did. One word goes a long way, and giving a hug helps a great deal more.
- #7: Improve the relationship.
A plant may wilt from lack of sunshine. Similarly, a relationship deteriorates from lack of effort. Work together towards improving the relationship. Be a complement to what your partner lacks, and vice versa. Learn to provide emotional and mental support, always. Never, ever take your partner for granted. Never.
Would you have any other tips that would help to sustain a relationship in the long run? Feel free to comment as always.